So, about last night…

I wasn’t going to do this.

I didn’t want to do this, but then I realized that it’s a pretty historical moment for the United States of America, whether you believe it’s a good thing or just the opposite.

Donald Trump is the new president-elect. Let that sink in for a moment.

I’m not going to go into all that he is and what he’s done, this is just me working through my feelings. Mostly. However, if you somehow don’t know who Donald Trump is, jut Google him.

Now, the election. I tuned in kind of late, first to ABC, then MSNBC because they tend to be more middle-of-the-road than either Fox News or CNN, to finally CNN because I like Anderson Cooper, and he’s worth subjecting myself to strictly “leftist” views. When I first noticed the electoral count and how close it was, I freaked out a little. I will freely admit that. I try to be as impartial when it comes to anything political as I can, with the exception of the issues that I’m passionate about (LGBTQIA, and being pro-choice), but I will be the first to admit that sometimes I end up letting the mainstream media “think” for me and form my opinions about something… or someone.

I did that with Trump. To be honest, he made it incredibly easy to misconstrue his words and take them out of context, but with the way that journalism is today, especially tabloid journalism, writers often twist things to fit their narrative, be it left, right, or somewhere in-between. When it comes to articles, I like to think that I have a healthy dose of skepticism, but even I fall for something that’s written that I don’t agree with, but I’m human. We’re all humans. We all make mistakes. Nobody’s perfect. If, somehow, you are, then life must be terribly boring for you.

I didn’t vote for Trump, by the way. I didn’t vote for Hillary, either. I voted third-party, and that has its own shit storm to deal with, because apparently I’m “part of the problem” in why Hillary Clinton didn’t get elected. “A third-party vote is a vote for Trump.”

Yeah, no. Nice try, though. Just because I, personally, didn’t like either candidate enough to vote for them doesn’t mean I “threw it away.” How dare you tell me that my third-party vote was “wasted” all because I voted with my conscience instead of your precious Hillary Clinton. Newsflash: most of the third-party voters vote third-party because we’re frustrated with the current two-party system. Let’s just ignore the assholes who chose to be funny and vote for a dead gorilla. Harambe’s dead; let the memes die, too.

If you want to point fingers, point them towards the 46.6% of people who didn’t vote at all. That’s almost half of this goddamned country.

Anyway, I didn’t watch all of the election coverage last night. I went to bed around nine because I was tired and could no longer keep my eyes open, but the first thing I did when I woke up was check Twitter to see what was trending, and tapped on ‘#NotMyPresident’ to see which side was angrier. Turns out, it was everyone on the left. And me, to an extent.

I was essentially foaming at the mouth earlier this morning (November 9, 2016), and I tweeted out some things that others seemed to agree with. The first thing I said:

“Oh, look. Now it’s my turn to say #NotMyPresident for the next four fucking years.”

Because, you know, the right kept repeating that phrase for the past eight years about President Obama. I even posted that as a status on my FaceBook profile (only to amend it later). So, I was a bit snarky.

And angry.

Then noon rolled around, and I realized that my anger was actually stemming from everyone else’s anger over the results, so I took a step back mentally to reassess my feelings, listened (and read) some opinions about being united as one instead of dividing further apart, and listened to Donald Trump’s victory speech, which wasn’t actually as bad as I thought. He seemed more mellow last night, more respectful of everybody, and now that he wasn’t screaming at the top of his lungs to get his point across, I was able to actually hear what he had to say.

It wasn’t all bad.

I’ve mentioned my age before, but I’ll mention it again: I’m almost 30. In fact, I’ll be turning 30 next month, two days before Christmas; I don’t have the energy to be angry and hateful anymore. I really don’t. It’s exhausting, and not good for one’s mental health. So, I’m trying to look past that and identify where my anger and hatred is coming from, and if it’s from everybody else, I do my best to change my thinking based on my feelings and not those of my peers.

And I get it. I get the frustration. Those who voted for Trump were frustrated with the U.S. government. They were frustrated with feeling screwed over by Congress. The majority of Trump’s supporters, I’ve learned, were also Obama supporters. And I get that early on his campaign, Trump said some crazy shit, but looking back, I think his “words” were a combination of, well, his own, obviously, but also the media taking them out of context and twisting them around to fit their narrative, and perhaps even adding a word or two for dramatics.

Looking back, Trump doesn’t have any experience as a politician. He’s just been someone who’s been in their back pockets lending them money, both Democratic and Republican alike. He may have played dirty, but he was just playing the game better than most have done in the past. Hillary’s emails kept getting brought up, though, and I didn’t think they needed to be, especially if she’d already been cleared of any pending charges by the FBI. I highly doubt she was the first politician to have deleted so many critical emails, but sure, let’s focus on her and only her.

I don’t know. I don’t know what’s going to happen on January 20, 2017, when he gets inaugurated. I don’t know what will happen to this country in the next four years with Trump in Office. But after giving it some thought, and after listening to his victory speech, I am choosing to be optimistic that he won’t let us down.

Also, I think I’m going to take up meditation just to keep up the optimism.

Now is the time to come together, not fall apart. United we stand, divided we fall.

I’m willing to accept you as President of these United States, Donald Trump.

Don’t fuck it up.

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